saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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