wrigley field is MILF paradise
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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