I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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