My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
