I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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