just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
