I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im holly from the hills drunk
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You need a sexual gate keeper
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
