Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just gift wrapped bread.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
