dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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