Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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