HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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