Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
