The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
