I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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