break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
