Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
