I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize