Your face is a jimmy john
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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