Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
