last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
