I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
