HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
