so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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