Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We need to get me chipped asap
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