Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
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You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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