My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
