Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
