So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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