i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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