Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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