no, he came in my armpit
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize