if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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