if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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