Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
