Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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