Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
