do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
