im drinking this country out of the recession.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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