you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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