i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
