ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
