my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
