Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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