He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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