Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize