Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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