Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
