dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
