the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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