Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
