if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
