Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
