Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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