Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
