nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
