Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
