I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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