if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
