the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
