Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
