Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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