chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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