god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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