I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize